Ever since I could remember, I have always wanted to become a scientist. That craving to
understand the mysteries of the universe has been one of the most passionate desires of mine since I was a
toddler. I can still recall laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering why some people had
crooked teeth while others didn’t. The question “How?” always echoed within my thoughts. When I entered
school, science and mathematics quickly became one of my most favored subjects. In my mind, they were
the most logical and precise. The answers they provided were based on fact, not human intuition.
As I matured, I grew to enjoy the systematic mechanics of the human body. Within months, I knew
without a doubt that I wanted to enter college with the intention of graduating with a Ph.D. in genetics. It is
my hope that with such a degree, I would be able to pursue a career in medical research. I would like to
have that chance of contributing in a cure for the common cold, or maybe some of the most troubling viruses
which inundate our society today.
Unfortunately, such an ambition requires money to achieve. Finances are a strong factor in my
family, and I realize that my college choices need to revolve around a simple fact: Can I afford it?
My mother has provided for my private school education since I entered kindergarten. With each
passing year, it becomes harder and harder to continue providing for this kind of education. My mother, who
currently works two jobs that could often extend beyond fourteen hours a day, sacrifices a number of
luxuries just so that I could finish my thirteenth year in private school. My younger brother is currently
attending public school with the hope of transferring into a private school once finances can accommodate it.
These are the sacrifices that they make for me; I acknowledge this fully. Though my mother intends to
continue paying for my education, I know very well that this is close to impossible. With graduation closely
approaching, I know that I will need to assist her in financing for college. It is my hope that with this
scholarship, I can do just that.
I would like to give my mother the chance to relieve her stress of finances and allow my brother to
have the opportunity of receiving the kind of education that I was lucky to have. Though my desire to
continue my education is a strong reason for this scholarship, my wish to ease my family’s responsibilities
for my education is even stronger.
Comment: the first sentence is a big no-no. sounds fake… also, ‘scientist’ is such a broad term (the generality lends to how fake the first sentence sounds) and so vague and then all of the sudden the speaker knows exactly what kind of scientist and also that he wants to spend ten years of his life studying it. Also, everybody who applies for a scholarship needs money — the reasons that this speaker gives aren’t that unusual (or interesting), although I do find it a sad story. I’d rather hear why this specific person-in-need is worthy of the money. Rating: 1